1. Well, I am back. I have had internet for a couple days, and, while I have felt badly about neglecting my blog, I haven’t been able to think of what to write. I am, in a (hyphenated) word, sleep-deprived. My super easy going baby has grown into a sleep-deprived one who refuses to nap or sleep at night, and frankly, we are both wrecks.
Here’s a list of things I’m not good at, these days. I’m not good at having patience with Eliza. I’m not good at being a mom, period. Not good at being a supportive, helpful wife. Not good at keeping my kitchen clean. I’m not even sure I’m that great at just being a person. I don’t know who I am, who I’m supposed to be, or what I want.
Except I want Eliza to sleep. I know I want that.
2. Okay, I actually do know what I want. I want a lot of things, many of them contradictory. I want to know what is important. I want my life to be meaningful. I want to sigh less. I want to want the right thing. One thing.
3. On a lighter note? I want to have a shindig at our new place pretty soon. There will be music, beer, and friends (and maybe homemade donuts). So, to those of you who play music, remind yourself of all the toe-tapping, sing-along-friendly down-home tunes you know, tune-up your banjo, guitar, or fiddle, and stay in touch. It’s happening soon.