small (ish) change.

Today my collegiate self was resurrected in a way that surprised me as much as it may surprise those of you who know me well. I had super short hair for years, because whenever I felt the need for change in my life but couldn’t change my circumstances, I’d take the scissors to my hair. And I do mean I…I haven’t paid for a haircut in about seven years, other than a trim right before my wedding.

Anyway, I decided I was going to grow out my hair, and I have been working on that for about four years, with one small setback of about four inches several months after we got married. My hair was the longest it had ever been, I think. I could reach my hand up my back and grab the ends easily. I have been really happy with and proud of my hair.

Enter the last several weeks. I have been dissatisfied with things in my life, and not in a bad way. In a “I want to change and grow as a person, but I am finding it really difficult and frustrating” kind of way. And yesterday, for the first time, I seriously itched for the scissors. Today, I looked at celebrities with short hair on the computer, and thought I’d probably go in and get someone to cut it for me eventually. And then, all of a sudden, I put Eliza down for a nap, and found myself standing in the bathroom with scissors in hand, grinning at myself in the mirror.

Yep. Spurred on by the fact that I am sick of things as they stand, and armed with the fact that even if I hated the new do, my hair gets so ratty when it’s long and that sucks, so things would still be better, I cut maybe eight to ten inches off (I have no idea how long my hair actually was). (Whew…what a run-on sentence.) It was pretty gutsy, too, considering that I have not actually cut my hair other than trimming it in several years, and I also had no extra mirror to check the back. It turned out well, and I discovered that my hair has become even curlier than I realized with all the extra length pulling it straighter. It’s kind of ridiculous.

And I’m feeling like, if I can take scissors to years and years worth of effort, and feel happy and excited about it, I am totally capable of changing other little things in my life too. Being a girl is weird.


Author: rebekahkayosborn

I am attempting to capture the events, non-events, and thoughts about each, as they occur in the increasing busy-ness of life. As my professors always said "You might want to write this down." Who knows what could turn out to be important?

One thought on “small (ish) change.”

  1. Oh wow!! I’ve been there, with scissors in hand. Last time I cut it all off, Amos was 8 months old. I’m pretty much there again but don’t have the guts this time. Post a pic…I bet it’s cute!

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