It’s scary having a sick baby. Even when you might not even have to go the doctor. Just knowing that my little girl is in major discomfort, and being somewhat helpless to make it better…it’s scary. The funny thing is, I don’t even really like Eliza this week. She’s been whiny and fussy, and even though I know she is sick, my heart does not automatically fill with joy when I get to make her feel better by changing a diarrhea soaked diaper (this part has only been happening for a day). But under the petty dislike, my heart is full of love for my daughter, full of pity and sympathy, and I worry about her even when she’s happily napping, wondering what else I can do to make her feel better. Because I guess that’s what mamas do. Even when we don’t like, we love. (I feel like I end almost every blog post with the words “It’s weird”…but it is.)
P.S. Oh, and another thing that is weird? The things that have made me get teary in the last couple days. Examples? The end of a cliche crime tv show (watching while washing dishes), trying to plan an overnight this weekend, and, my personal favorite, part of a Planet Earth episode where a baby elephant gets separated from its mother and wanders into the vast Sahara alone.