stream of consciousness.

We found out yesterday that we are having a boy. And we couldn’t be more excited. Matthew couldn’t attend the ultrasound, so we purchased the video and had the technician put the photo with the gender in a sealed envelope so we could find out together. It was so fun finding out in the privacy of our own home, it made it such an intimate, family occasion. I had considered videotaping us finding out, but ultimately decided not to. I’ve had a feeling, almost from the beginning of this pregnancy, that the baby is a boy. I’ve dreamed once that the baby was a boy (with Eliza I dreamed she was a girl three times before we found out). I’ve felt more emotionally attached to this baby from the get-go. So I was a little nervous that if my mama-senses were off, a video of that discovery might not be the best thing. We would have been disappointed, I think, even though we would have been just as thrilled about another daughter. I don’t know how that’s possible, but it’s true…it’s weird. Plus, having been more emotionally involved with this baby-I-thought-was-a-boy, I think I would have felt a little sense of loss. I’ve been talking (mentally) to a baby boy, I’ve had to remember to tack on “or she” to my “he” statements. So, I was ecstatic to pull out that blurry picture with not much recognizable except for, well…the parts with “boy!” typed next to them.

I’m going to have a son! Eliza’s going to have a baby brother!

 

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Author: rebekahkayosborn

I am attempting to capture the events, non-events, and thoughts about each, as they occur in the increasing busy-ness of life. As my professors always said "You might want to write this down." Who knows what could turn out to be important?

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