my make believe family: a stream of consciousness update.

I say make believe, because I still feel like we’re sort of playing at being a family. Like any second now, somebody’s going to say, “Waaaait a second! You guys aren’t supposed to be parents! You don’t have career plans, or act like grownups, or have a 401(k). You still stay up way too late watching movies, and eat too much ice cream sometimes. What are you doing here?” But the reality is, I have a 14 month old, and I’m in charge of feeding her and washing her and training her to be a decent human being. I’m growing another little one. And we pay our bills and buy food and even save for the future, sometimes. So, even though we may not feel like adults (when does that happen, anyway?) we are doing a pretty good job of faking it.

And here’s an update on all the members of this fake, real family.

MATTHEW AND REBEKAH: Matthew is a furniture designer who has a day job and is taking his last class this summer. It’s going to be a crazy six weeks, and he will be working every Saturday. I still work at church, and I still have to write at least one song a month, and it’s still hard to do that sometimes. I try to remember to train Eliza rather than let her do whatever she wants, although I let her do mostly whatever she wants because you pick your battles. And the stuff she wants is pretty fine most of the time. Matthew and I have been marathon-movie-watching after Eliza goes to bed at night, because we don’t have air conditioning and I’m pregnant, and when you reach the end of long hot days, all you can do is lay on the couch. Or try to lay on the couch without actually touching any surface because it’s so hot. Anyway, we’ve watched almost all of the extended edition Lord of the Rings movies in an embarrassingly short amount of time. And I’m ok with it, because this is just a phase. And it’s kind of nice to lack self-control together. At least one of us doesn’t feel like the immature one all the time, or the other one like they’re being the parent to the other one, because all we have to do is look at each other, and know we’re going to keep watching this movie even though we know we should go to bed. It’s kind of sweet, what we have. We have also been trying to read at least a psalm every morning at breakfast, because it’s the best time of the day for family time like that. I really love it, and even though Eliza probably doesn’t really know what’s going on, I swear she’s listening sometimes.

ELIZA: She runs around all day, doing a lot of nothing but looking really busy. She whines a lot, which is a habit I’m trying to break, when I remember that I should. She is very affectionate, gives good hugs now, and while she still doesn’t like to cuddle, I’m confident we’ll get there one day. She babbles constantly, and listening to her pretend to read her books lights up my whole entire day. I also have to try not to laugh while she does it, because then she gets self-conscious. But it really sounds so hilarious.

WYATT: Yeah, his name is tentatively Wyatt. I still feel uncertain about that, which might be because I keep forgetting he’s in there. At the beginning of the pregnancy he felt very real, and I was so excited. But as the pregnancy progressed, so did my aches and pains, and the increased inconvenience has sort of crowded out my awareness of him. Which makes me sad, and I’m trying to remember. Because I don’t want these next ten weeks to be all about my discomfort. I don’t want to only think about the stretch marks that magically appeared on my belly more than I think about my son. Because seriously, I’m SO excited for him to be here.

So that’s that, for now. A lot of stuff is happening in our lives in the next few weeks, but mostly it feels like a lot of nothing is going on. But that’s life I suppose. And now I’m going to eat lunch and try to nap while Eliza does, because that’s what moms always say you should do. And I’m tired. Because we watched Lord of the Rings until way too late last night.


Author: rebekahkayosborn

I am attempting to capture the events, non-events, and thoughts about each, as they occur in the increasing busy-ness of life. As my professors always said "You might want to write this down." Who knows what could turn out to be important?

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