So, according to the midwives I am now five days overdue. Which means I have nine days until they will “have” to induce me. I’m kind of freaking out, because in my head it will obviously come to that, and I will never have a birth that just progresses on its own, without the help of lots and lots of drugs. But then I remember that Eliza’s birth ended up needing helped along by lots and lots of drugs, and while it was not what we wanted, it was fine, and she was fine and beautiful and in the end we were all just as happy about her birth as if it had happened the way we planned. You know, instead of taking 30 hours and lots of drugs. So even if I end up waiting all the way until next Sunday, September NINTH, and end up having to be induced, it will be ok. Wyatt will get here and we will love him.
In two days we’re scheduled to go into the hospital so they can monitor the baby to make sure everything’s good in there, and it’s safe to leave him in there until he (hopefully!) decides to make his appearance, sans the assistance of induction. I’m really nervous that we’ll spend like four hours in the hospital, only to have them say we need to induce and I won’t be able to say goodbye to Eliza. I don’t want her to have to go through that uncertainty…I get teary thinking about it. Actually, I get teary a lot, since my appointment yesterday morning. But, whatever, I’m super pregnant, get over it.
I’m trying to trust that Wyatt will be born at the right time. That even if I don’t get the option of even trying for the birth I think I want, God is still good and is still protecting us and caring for us. I think I can believe that. It’s harder to trust that even if I have to wait the whole nine days, and end up having to be induced, that those nine days were not a waste of time.
Anyway, a lot of uncertainty here, and a lot of impatience. Prayers for grace, peace, and hope much appreciated. Donuts would be good too.