This has been a difficult week. Wyatt has had a cold, as have I, Eliza has been teething, and we’ve been sleeping poorly. Exhaustion brings out the worst in me (I’m sure I’m alone in that) and there have been some ugly moments this week. I was really pretty mean to Eliza one day, when I was trying to get us all outside for a walk, because she normally love walks, but she was resisting all my efforts to get her ready to go. I was all “I’m doing this for you!” and was really frustrated that she wouldn’t appreciate my efforts on her behalf. Because she’s 18 months old, and toddlers normally appreciate all your efforts on their behalf. Riiight. In the ugliness, though, there were beautiful little moments of grace, scattered throughout the week. Like when I put Eliza to bed that night, after the aforementioned walk fiasco and both of our less-than-gracious-and-more-like-pretty-mean attitudes all day, she motioned me down for an extra kiss. With that kiss, and her smile and wave goodnight, I knew we were ok. We’d made it through that day with our relationship intact.
I know of several people who are really suffering right now. My days are difficult, but it’s in a typical I-have-a-newborn, or kids-bring-out-my-selfishness-and-I-kind-of-hate-having-to-deal-with-it, kind of way. These friends and acquaintances are really suffering and dealing with grief I have never experienced, and it’s been sobering, and humbling, to carry them in my heart and in prayer. It’s been reminding me that, as hard as it is to walk through these days of exhaustion and, yes, sanctification, there are abundant moments of beauty and joy, and grace. And in it all, I have been wildly, extravagantly blessed.
I don’t understand why some people seem to have more than their fair share of suffering and sadness, while I face my blessings with a complaining heart. But I believe this, with all my heart: From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. I am comforted by the fact that no matter the country, the life circumstances, or the suffering or rejoicing, he is using it all to draw people to Himself.
And in the midst of it all?
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.