I’ve discovered something about myself recently which is slightly disconcerting. I’m a performer. I always thought I wasn’t, because I’m not particularly flashy, and when I sing in front of people I don’t dance (much…more like sway) or dramatically emote. I pretty much just straightforwardly sing my songs.
But I realized that I don’t write unless I know there will be an audience. I don’t journal, except to jot down lyric ideas so I won’t forget them, because nobody will read it except me. I don’t write songs unless someone will hear them. I’m not sure what this says about me, if it’s a good or a bad thing. I’m a writer, but evidently only for an audience.
I just wrote the first song I’ve written outside of my responsibilities for church in over four years. It felt good. Especially because I know that a week from today, I will be playing it in front of people. And that’s what it took to get me motivated.
I’m a performer.