I’m in the phase of pregnancy where it all feels, subconsciously, like countdown time. Not in days, exactly…I don’t know how many days are left til the due date (I’m something like 3 weeks away). But every time I accomplish any task around the house, it’s like a sigh of relief. There, that’s done. If the baby comes tonight that’ll be fine.
I’m so, so ready to meet this little one, but I’m trying to enjoy these last days. I kind of hate being pregnant, even though I have blessedly easy pregnancies, so the first six weeks of a new baby are infinitely preferable to the last six weeks of pregnancy, to me. However, this will likely be the last time we get to enjoy the anticipation of meeting a new child, so I’m savoring that excitement even as I moan and groan over my aches and pains.
My mind feels so full these days, of to-do lists and survival strategies, and I don’t have much left over. I was supposed to write a song this week for church, but I literally had no head space in which to contemplate greater things than my daily grind. But in a matter of weeks, I’ll have a new beautiful baby and that’s worth anything, really. If having more babies didn’t mean ending up with more children, I’d do this over and over again.
Life is hard and good. Having kids is so much work, but a beautiful (and fun) responsibility. Even when I complain to Matthew, and I complain a lot, I also can’t wrap my head around the blessing that has been given me in these little ones. I’m so thankful. And I can’t wait, can. not. wait. to meet my daughter.
I’m also at the phase in pregnancy where labor is coming, like it’s right around the corner, and I’m totally scared. But that’s another post, best left unwritten. Better to focus on the new baby I get to meet soon than the upcoming marathon of thinking I’m dying. Haha! But seriously.