baby stream of consciousness

I’m in the phase of pregnancy where it all feels, subconsciously, like countdown time. Not in days, exactly…I don’t know how many days are left til the due date (I’m something like 3 weeks away). But every time I accomplish any task around the house, it’s like a sigh of relief. There, that’s done. If the baby comes tonight that’ll be fine.

I’m so, so ready to meet this little one, but I’m trying to enjoy these last days. I kind of hate being pregnant, even though I have blessedly easy pregnancies, so the first six weeks of a new baby are infinitely preferable to the last six weeks of pregnancy, to me. However, this will likely be the last time we get to enjoy the anticipation of meeting a new child, so I’m savoring that excitement even as I moan and groan over my aches and pains. 

My mind feels so full these days, of to-do lists and survival strategies, and I don’t have much left over. I was supposed to write a song this week for church, but I literally had no head space in which to contemplate greater things than my daily grind. But in a matter of weeks, I’ll have a new beautiful baby and that’s worth anything, really. If having more babies didn’t mean ending up with more children, I’d do this over and over again. 

Life is hard and good. Having kids is so much work, but a beautiful (and fun) responsibility. Even when I complain to Matthew, and I complain a lot, I also can’t wrap my head around the blessing that has been given me in these little ones. I’m so thankful. And I can’t wait, can. not. wait. to meet my daughter.

I’m also at the phase in pregnancy where labor is coming, like it’s right around the corner, and I’m totally scared. But that’s another post, best left unwritten. Better to focus on the new baby I get to meet soon than the upcoming marathon of thinking I’m dying. Haha! But seriously.

 

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Author: rebekahkayosborn

I am attempting to capture the events, non-events, and thoughts about each, as they occur in the increasing busy-ness of life. As my professors always said "You might want to write this down." Who knows what could turn out to be important?

2 thoughts on “baby stream of consciousness”

  1. Totally agree with so much you wrote but in particular the part about wanting to keep having more babies if it didnt mean you ended up with more children. I have always loved the pregnancy / newborn stage. It’s the toddler + years that leave me exhausted.

    But keep fighting the good fight momma. I absolutely love how close in age my girls are. There were and still are some weary days but everyday it gets easier.

  2. I was just wondering when you were due. I’m excited for your family. Even though more children are, well, hard, I think both of us know what it’s like on their side– I feel sorry for children who grow up without even just one sibling. Someone once told me that one of the best gifts you can give to your child is another sibling. So, yay for three babies! 🙂

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