I’ve been slowly digging my way through our accumulated stuff to try and sort through what we use and don’t. Trying to clear up some space in our house to give myself some visual peace. The stuff had piled its way to the forefront of each room and it weighed heavy on my mind and soul, too.
I’m getting rid of it. I’m tired of having the guilt, or at least preoccupation, over being disorganized and messy rob me of my peace of mind. It’s been controlling how I live my days and interact with my children and I’m done letting it have mastery over me.
I’ve been slowly mulling over the thought of taking a social media break. Of trying to clear a way through what I put in front of my eyes, in an effort to give myself some mental peace. All of the news and the articles, the shares and the debates have piled up in my mind and heart til I don’t have a filter for them anymore. They’re clogging up my ability to handle the life I’ve actually been given to handle, because of the heavy load of all the information about all the other lives I wasn’t given to handle.
I’m getting rid of it. Ok, not exactly. I’m not saying I shouldn’t care, or be informed. I’m not saying I shouldn’t pray. I’m just saying, when the weight of the whole world gets so heavy you can’t carry the weight of your own world, maybe it’s time to take a break. The glut of information is controlling how I live my days and interact with my children and I’m tired of letting it have mastery over me.
I only get this life, this specific one I’ve been given. Conviction strengthens, it doesn’t incapacitate. Compassion for the world shouldn’t detract me from living well and loving well those right around me. That’s not happening right now. Something has to change. Inasmuch as it depends on me, I want my home to be haven, I want my mind to be haven, set in a world ever driven to madness and chaos.
I don’t know what all this looks like, the end result of this fighting and clawing and stumbling my way to freedom from clutter, mental and physical. But I know that along the way I’m getting rid of stuff.
And it feels good.