I am waking up, after years in a constant daze. I’m waking up and suddenly I have this adult life that I have to figure out how to navigate. I’m waking up and the sudden onslaught of emotional intake is exhilarating and exhausting. So I go and I go and I rush and I try and I try until I crash and retreat, for a few days, into my protective shell until I remember what it’s like not to hide. I remember how much better it is, not to hide.
I don’t need to fear this. I don’t need to miss this.
Real life has feelings. They come and they go. They’re just feelings. I don’t have to be afraid.
Any day I’m alive means more time to keep trying. It doesn’t have to happen all at once, this resurrection.