scattered thoughts.

Well…one month later…we have a baby! I think that fact may have been obvious by the long delay in writing, but I guess one should never assume. Eliza Kay was born April 20th at 7:05 in the morning, twenty-seven hours after my water broke. They were the longest hours of my life, I thought it would never end, and yet now, somehow, I remember them fondly because they brought me my daughter.

Some random thoughts:

1. Wanna know what surprised me about labor? I promise it’s not gross. I was surprised by the shaking. After twelve or thirteen hours, when I decided to get the epidural, I realized I was kind of spazzing a little bit. I guess shaking is a side effect of labor (pain?) AND epidurals, so after ten more hours I was shaking the bed with my spasms. It was weird. And kind of funny. Or as funny as anything can be when you’ve been in labor for years. Just kidding…I know people who’ve gone longer, so I don’t want to seem over-dramatic here.

2. Post-birth, I have been surprised by many things. But mainly I have been surprised by how calm I have been. I expected to be a complete wreck, crying every day for the first three weeks (I don’t do well with being tired), and wrestling with the baby blues. Turns out, sometimes (only sometimes!) having low expectations is a really good thing, because these four weeks have been sooo much better than I expected. There have been tears, including those wept on the dark night I decided never to have another child. I have since changed my mind. However, the overall feeling is one of well-being, and overwhelming love of this little one. She is precious! And mine! And that is unbelievable.

3. Finally, I have obviously not been sleeping very much. My sleep schedule consists of naps, which I never thought I would do again after my sophomore year of college. But here I am again, less out of desire to have a good time and more because there’s a human who will die if I don’t get up and feed her, and let me tell you…the dreams I’m having during these two hour naps I call a good night’s sleep? They are kuh-razy. In no particular order, let me just give you an idea.


-ninjas (one of whom beheaded someone right. in. front. of me. which was not very gross, only because it was a dream.)

-a massive tornado which carried a man high in the air and then ran him into a billboard?

-campground bathroom…I think I was hiding from someone in there.

-Dave Chapelle made an appearance.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, has been my life in the last four weeks since we last met.


nesting. it’s real.

Sometimes I have a moment where I realize how really, truly, very pregnant I am. Like when I’m sitting on the floor, organizing my kitchen cabinets (because one clearly can’t bring a baby home to an apartment with cluttered cabinets…obviously), and there’s no one around to help me get back up. I’m glad no one was there to see my slow, ponderous ascent, although if there had been an observer, it would have been much less difficult.

Or the afternoons when I mop, wipe down walls, organize aforementioned cabinets, cook and freeze meals, and vacuum, driven by that mysterious force–what folklore has named “nesting”. I thought nesting was for people who were much more organized than I am, much more oriented by perfection. I thought I might escape. Evidently, however, the urge strikes even the least likely. So if you need me, I’ll just be spot-cleaning my carpet.

In the spirit of full disclosure, however, I should add that in between all of the crazed cleaning I have managed to find time to spend literally hours reading The Pioneer Woman archives. Lest you think that I have suddenly developed a whole new personality, let me assure you. I still possess the capability to waste prodigious amounts of time.

an update. sort of.

It’s obviously been a little while since I last wrote. And while one might think that would leave me with an excess of things to talk about, all I really want to talk about is this:

and this:

and just one more time for good measure, this:

Pizza is kind of a favorite around here. I would say that on average, I make homemade pizza about twice a month. Several weeks ago, our pizza-eating experience was taken to new levels when I attempted deep-dish pizza for the first time. We have never looked back. I’ve now made this dish three times, and each time it is every bit as scrumptious.

I’m obviously no food-blogger, much less a food photographer, so the pictures hardly do it justice. But I just wanted you to know. I made that. And it was awesome.


Pizza Crust:

1 pkg yeast

1 and  3/4 cup warm water

1 and 3/4 tsp salt

1/4 cup olive oil (SCANT 1/4 cup!)

4 and  1/2 cups flour (I use half all purpose, half whole wheat)

Mix yeast and warm water, let sit til dissolved. Add half the flour and beat till smooth-ish, stir in as much of the rest of the flour as you can, then knead til smooth and elastic. Don’t over-knead it…the dough should be slightly sticky, but not tacky. Huge clumps should not still be attaching themselves to your hand.

Cover, let sit in a warm place til double, about one hour. (The time largely depends on if you have the ideal environment for the dough to rise…I like to turn on the oven JUST til I can feel the first warmth, then I turn it off and put the dough in there. Perfect.)

Note: This recipe makes enough dough for two deep dish pizzas, if you are using a pie pan. If you want to make just one, let the dough rise and then freeze half of it.

Once the dough has doubled, take it out of the oven (this is important) and THEN preheat the oven to 450. While it’s preheating, assemble the pizzas.

To assemble your pizzas, divide the dough in half, and work each half into the pie pan. Make sure the dough comes all the way up the sides. Have a good amount of shredded mozzarella or pizza cheese blend (I’ve been shredding mozzarella and monteray jack and blending the two). You’ll add the cheese first, and you want to make sure you’ve got enough for maybe a cup and a half per pizza. Just pile it on. If you feel adventurous, sprinkle some black pepper over the cheese. Just sayin.

In terms of the rest of the toppings, it’s entirely up to you. I normally think that plain pepperoni pizza is b-o-r-i-n-g, but when it comes in deep dish form, magic happens. I’ll just tell you what toppings I used for these two, and you can let your creativity take it from there.

First pizza was just a pepperoni pizza. On top of the cheese, pile on pepperoni. I just used a single layer, but I overlapped the pepperonis slightly, so that the cheese was entirely covered. Sprinkle some oregano on top of that, then pour the sauce over the pepperoni. Approximately half a jar, but again–it’s entirely up to you how saucy you want this pie.

Second pizza was a little more exciting. Spinach, feta, onion and tomato. Chop up a tomato, sprinkle it over the cheese. I like a lot of tomato, so I piled it on. Same with the onion (I maybe used half of a small onion), then crumble up some feta and sprinkle it over the tomato and onion. Again, I love feta so I really, you know, piled it on. (Are you seeing a theme here?) Roughly chop up a big ol’ handful of spinach, and heap that on top of the rest of the toppings. You will want to put about twice as much spinach as you would think you will need, because as it cooks, it will shrink. Like a lot. So…heap it up. Add the sauce, approximately half a jar and attempt to spread it around evenly. Give up in frustration.

Put the pizza pies in the preheated oven, bake 20-25 minutes. Crust should be golden brown. To serve, see pictures above. Enjoy!

i want.

Today, I want to sit down with a friend and drink coffee. I want to dangle our feet off a front porch, swinging our legs in the sun. I want to read a really good book, or pretend to read it, while somebody strums a guitar and a few people sing lazily along. I want warm weather, and skirts, and good friends, and a porch. I really, really want a porch today. I want conversation, but not about anything important. I want to pretend that nothing is stressful, that I haven’t cried almost every day for weeks (thank you, hormones and stress), that I’m not so terribly, terribly tired. I want other people. I want to sit quietly while other people talk, and laugh, and I don’t want anyone to ask me how I am. Or if I’m ready for a baby. Or what our plans are. Or if everything is ready.

some things.

1. New, real, full length post coming soon. Promise.

2. My husband impetuously changes his facial hair like I used to cut my hair in college.

3. My two favorite quotes from yesterday: (each of these took place at the church service for the developmentally disabled that I attend with my DD ward on Tuesday nights, said by two of my favorite attendees)

-“Oh, this is the hug I’ve been waiting for!” said one gentleman while hugging his girlfriend. “This is the hug I’ve been waiting for all this time!”

-After asking me when my baby was due and hearing that, while I’m not due for a few weeks, she could come anytime, this young man nodded wisely and said, “So your water’s been breaking then?”